21 Things I’ve Learned Since Moving to Australia

1.     Humidity is my hairs worst enemy. Don’t bother straightening or curling it, in the end it will always be a frizz hot mess.

2.     If I mastered the sales skills of the Chinese man on the corner selling worthless items that you just HAVE TO have, I would be a very rich woman.

3.     To get in to a bathroom you only need one door. Not two, not three, especially not four. Just one. Walking in to the bathroom here is like a mouse trying to get the cheese at the end of a maze. I mean come on, lady trying to pee here!

4.     If you’re hungry after 8pm….good luck. Only McDonalds and Hungry Jack are open still and I certainly would rather starve than eat that.  I’m thinking this is one of the reasons why people are generally thinner here.

5.     I hate short shorts on guys. I don’t want to see your upper thigh. If I wanted to see you in briefs I would take you to the bedroom.

6.     Public transportation is awesome here! I can get anywhere I need to be within a half hour almost every time. Plus, I’m a three minute train ride to the city.

7.     Apparently I’m a fan of the foreigners, but mostly the English. So far I have made about 15 friends out here, almost all English and all hilarious.

8.     Bell peppers are capsicum and ketchup is tomato (tuh-ma-toe) sauce. Don’t question it.

9.     No one here knows how to make a Chai Latte Iced. Apparently because it is powdered chai and not liquid chai, it is illogical to combine powder and milk………..I have given many coffee shops out here a little lesson in the art of mixing before adding ice, not after. Come on people.

10. I’m not very good at making friends with girls……okay, this might not be a new thing. I have always had more guy friends that girl friends but being here just makes me think, “ Wtf, I’m a pretty decent person I think. Just because I don’t enjoy wearing heels and reading Cosmo magazine doesn’t mean I’m not cool. Hmph. ” The poor English boys have to endure my foolish attempts at having a “girly” conversation. They fails every time.

11. I miss my sister. Erica my darling, I love you. I cannot wait to be roommates!

12.  Drinking Goon makes my temper flare up. It has gotten me in to a bit of trouble here and there so I have decided to swear off of the stuff…..but it’s the cheapest alcohol over here and I’m on a budget.

13. When you are traveling make sure that you sort out your home life perfectly before you venture off to the other side of the world. Every day I find this small cloud of guilt hanging over my head. Now trying to fix things from the other side of the world is causing me more stress because I’m not there to fix it.

14.  You should have listened to your mom and brought two big bags. Mom is always right.

15. Speaking of parents, I have learned a few things about mine that I couldn’t see while I was so close to them.  I won’t say what, but taking a look at them from afar has changed my perspective a bit.

16. Construction men here are pretttyyyy hot for the most part. They aren’t like the construction guys back home who are mostly middle aged, out of shape and rude. They are like the guys you see in music videos. Tall, dark wavy hair, 5 o’clock shadow, rough and dirty and oh so fit. Not only are they attractive but they are also incredibly kind and polite. You  can tell that most of them have no idea that they are as gorgeous as they are.

17. I might have an actual issue with men and trust. I imagine this has something to do with a recent betrayal, and like all things shall pass. Still a little sting of pain catches me off guard every once in a while at the mention of certain things.  No strings from here on out please.

18. Double bag. Double bag. Double bag. I get that it is bad for the environment but when you’re walking a mile to the store and back carrying 60lbs of groceries and water on your back and arms its worth it. The minute one bag breaks your screwed. I spent one sad Sunday siting in a curb watching my nectarines and grapes roll down the massive hill I had just climbed.

19. Find a travel buddy right away. I have not done this yet but I’m on a mission to find someone. I want to go to Byron Bay and Noosa and the outback and everywhere until my money runs out!

20. Smile. I know people say this all the time but truly. A smile goes a long way anywhere in the world. Seeing that person smile honestly back instantly makes me feels like I’ve done just a little bit of good that day.

21. Don’t be afraid to approach people in order to make friends. If I didn’t randomly approach Ty or Blake or Ashley, I would be a total loner calling home crying about how this all was a horrible mistake. Grow a pair and go say hi already!

 I wrote this as I sipped on a chai latte, wearing a ring bought from the Chinese man on the corner after I awkwardly got lost in the most ridiculous toilet ever while in a restaurant that closed while I was still eating with a friend.

Cheers Mates.

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